It must be so hard knowing that your husband is utterly in love with someone else. Knowing that he will never love you to the capacity he loved someone else. I can't even imagine. And now, you have to take her kids into your home. The kids of the woman who holds your husbands heart. How does that feel?--Pretty crummy I would assume. Just knowing something like that must kill you inside. That you, everything you have with him, your children is because he couldn't be with the woman he truly loved (loves?). I know this probably sounds harsh...I actually do feel really bad for you. I couldn't even imagine what that must be like. And now you have those kids in your home as a constant reminder of what he wants. At least you know one thing, he wont ever have it...her...being dead now and all. I'm sorry, this is coming out all wrong. I am sorry. I can't imagine what it must feel like to love someone who doesn't truly love you back. I mean I'm sure he loves you, as I can imagine that he would learn to love after all the years of his marriage, but to know that he's with you because he cant be with her. That must be hard. But, you've dealt with it for how many years now. I'm sure it's a hole in your heart healed now. Maybe? Or maybe it gets bigger every day? -- It could go either way, I would think. Do you regret marrying someone who loves someone else more than you? But, just remember, it's not those kids fault he loved her. Don't take it out on them... You seem like a pretty reasonable lady, I'm sure you wont...but I am just at the beginning of your story, so you may....who knows.