I was thinking about you last night and I had something quite profound to say--I can't think of it now.
ROCHESTER IS MARRIED!!!! WHAT?!?!
I was just as shocked as you. And I know a lot of people were probably scoffing at you for being so calm and collected and dejected in a way--not to mention the fact you actually debate if you're going to leave or not. But, I must, honestly, say: I would have probably more than likely done the same thing.
I know what I'm about to say would make a feminists teeth cringe, but.... Sometimes you're just meant to be with someone. Sometimes, I think, love can trump everything. If you're truly, whole-heartedly meant to be with someone--you will be. And how do we know that...I don't know if we know it, but I think our bodies do, or maybe our souls. I don't know...but something in us does. Does that make sense? I don't think you could be "mad" at Rochester because you love him too much. I think there are some things out of our control and I kind of think true love is. I think true love has so much power. It has the power to forgive, even when we, ourselves, as a thinking being thinks we shouldn't.
Not love, but true love--because I do think there's a difference. You could have loved Rivers--you could have learned to love the "comfort" he could give you, you could learn to love the safety he could give you, you could learn to love his companionship. You could learn to love him for what he had to offer you. But, that's what it would have been--love through companion... But, Rochester, with Rochester you couldn't learn to love him. You loved him without even knowing it. You loved him even when it was wrong. You couldn't even learn to NOT love him like you tried...
Jane! Jane! Jane
I'm coming. Wait for me.
It happened and you can't deny it. When you get proof like that--like the fact you were so many miles away and you "heard" each other. You had to go back. That, my dear, means you were meant to be. Like I said, some things are just out of our control.
So what's my whole point here....? Love. You may be just one case, but Jane, you're proof that love can conquer all. Love can conquer class, religion, monetary value, True love can conquer what we think would otherwise be impossible. So for all those people who laugh at love and spit on romance novels, songs, etc...maybe they just haven't really experienced what true love really is...
So, now I'm going to go put on Taylor Swift and I'm going to think about love and how at least you got it right.
Romantically Yours... (but, not in way of my being in love with you...)