It's been a while since I've sat down and written a letter. I feel kind of guilty about that. But a lot of things have changed. I moved across the country (again), I had a baby boy, I got a new career--you know, nothing significant. I guess all that's to say that I come to you with a different view on life. I've followed some of your friends/acquaintances/neighbors for quite some time, and I wondered, Will I feel the same about Colby and the stories that come out of this little beach town now that I'm, you know, "grown up"? I honestly wasn't sure. But I did know this: some of my most fond memories were in Colby; I met wonderful people; I fell in love (I think); I visited time and time again, not getting enough of the residents/tourists/etc. So, when I found out I was going to be meeting you, I was nervous. I was scared. I was worried that everything I had known would change. Because I had irrevocably, undeniably changed. But you taught me something. We all change. We will. It's just a part of human nature. What matters, however, is how we accept it, how we handle it, and how we let it impact our beings..
have changed since the last time I wrote; I moved across the country (again), I had a baby boy, I started a new job...like an actual
While our changes are much different--you're going to college, I'm having a baby; you're staying in your small town, I'm going back to mine--we're not so different, you and I.
I mean, I know you haven't decided yet if you're going to leave Colby (or at least, you haven't told me), but I have a sneaking suspicion you will. If you're meant to be somewhere bigger in this world, you'll get there some how. I am painfully shy; I am a complete introvert; I'm more comfortable hiding in my twins' shadow. With all that being said though, I took off--I flew away from the small town. And no one was more shocked than I was. First, it was just a few hours to a slightly bigger town for college, then across the country for work. And you know what, it was awesome. It was the best thing that's ever happened to me. I don't have to hide anymore; I'm still shy, but I'll talk. Changing my scenery wasn't something I was fond of, but I did it out of sheer desire to succeed. And I did.
Whether you get out of Colby now or later, you will. I know it, I can feel it in my bones. You're meant for more. You're meant for more than a crappy boyfriend that cheats on you; you're meant for more than standing in a sandbox working the family business; you're meant for more than some summer fling. I know because, you're like me. You work hard, you care too much, you're scared. I don't know if you end up with Theo, I don't know if you'll end up at EU or Columbia, I don't know what you decide; but I guess is what I'm saying is: don't give up. Keep going. If for any reason to prove your father wrong; to prove to him you're not failing, you're not going to be stuck just because he couldn't help you. Girls like you and me, we don't need anyone else. Thank you very much. We can do it just fine on our own.
So be scared, be afraid, be weary of change. Because it's that fear that could end up motivating you. It's that fear that can change your entire world, your outlook, your destiny. I was scared of the change, but I took it as it came; I, finally, decided for once in my structured, organized, thought-out life to just let the change happen, I was going to let the fear of change change me--to let it control what I do next instead of trying to control it myself. And I realized something incredibly important: if you just let go, if you just let go and let life control, well, life, amazing things can happen. And I think you'll learn that. I think, because you're like me, you'll decide to give in. You'll give in to the plan, and you'll throw caution to the wind, and you'll end up with the moon and more. You'll end up in New York with Theo, you end up somewhere with Benji, you'll go off with Morris. I don't know what you're going to do, but I do know that when you do--it's going to be amazing. For both of us.
Changingly Yours,
NicholleLee
