Dear Laurel,

At first, you annoyed me. To be completely honest. I'm it'd been eight years--MOVE ON already. The fact that you wouldn't even give Cole the time of day was just...childish. And you're supposed to be a big, mature judge... Finally however--because of his gray eyes, or his devilish smile, or maybe because he seems like a genuinely nice person--you forgave him. For what? I don't know yet and it's driving me crazy.

But it got me thinking.

After eight years you still couldn't see him; you still couldn't stand him. Either he was truly the most disgusting human being on Earth, or girl...you're in love. But, seriously. Eight years? Aren't you a Christian? Aren't Christian's supposed to forgive. That's what I'm told. It just doesn't make sense to me that you could hold so much resentment toward someone for eight years that when they come back into you life (for reasons unknown) you can't even give them the time of day.

I mean aren't we supposed to live, learn, and move on? Isn't that like the philosophy of life or something? How could you have so much resentment built up in you for so long? Didn't it drive you cray? Didn't it kill you? Wasn't it exhausting? Maybe I'm just too forgiving. Maybe you're not forgiving enough. I don't know.

I know you say that you had thrown all that crap away, that you had moved on, you didn't realize you still had all these feelings. But how couldn't you? How couldn't you feel that hatred? To be completely honest, it just makes you seem like an emotionless wench. Truly. I'm sorry--that was rude, but it's true!

I understand a broken heart or whatever. I understand being hurt so badly by someone it makes you physically ill. I get it. I do. But don't we move on? Don't we grow? Out of sight out of mind, right? Apparently not.

And what I really don't get is how it's being with him again (after you finally give him two seconds of your time) that you forgive him. You don't even "forgive" him, you just fall in love with him! It doesn't make sense. Am I missing something? Maybe I'm too emotional. Maybe I don't get love. Maybe I wear my heart on my sleeve. I don't know what makes us different. And maybe that's all it is...differences. But it just seems like too much to hold on for eight years.

Isn't that the best form of revenge--moving on, being happy, not needing him? Maybe it's easier said than done. I guess I don't have that much experience in the whole love thing... But I am married...I've had heartache...I've been betrayed. I just feel like life is too short to hold on to a grudge for eight years. Maybe you're learning that now. Maybe that's why you "forgave" Cole. Maybe that's why you're falling in love again...with the same person.

Maybe my view will change when you finish telling me your story. I hope it does. Because right now I can't help but think you're a heartless wench with no emotion. And yet, I find my self strangely drawn to you... Does that make me weird.

Emotionally Yours,
NicholleLee.

Dear Mara Dyer,

WHAT????? Jude. No. The watch. The hat. Eeek.

I can't imagine what's going through your head at this moment. Then again, maybe it's just in your head? I don't know. I have no idea.

Mara, you are by far the strangest and most unique person I've ever encountered. How did this happen? How did you happen. I can't even wrap my head around it, and I'm an outsider. How? What? You're going crazy, I know it. Not literally. Well, maybe. But, confusing!

This is all I have to say: DON'T WALK AWAY FROM NOAH. He's your only hope. You can trust a guy named Noah. Jude on the other hand? Clearly not. Jude. It's too sharp; it's too strong.




The truth is, I just don't know what to think. Am I freaked out? Am I totally open and accepting? I have no idea. Normally I'm a pretty good judge of people. But you, you, I just don't know. I want to be accepting of who you are and recognize that it's not you doing these things, but something that happened to you. But it's freaky. It's weird. This can't just happen can it? My dad says every action has a consequence--an equal or greater reaction. And, I don't know. This has got to be a reaction to something. But what. 


M-A-R-A
I mean, the Ouija board said you were going to be the death of Rachel. What did it know that you didn't? What was the cause of said Ouija board message? Everything has an equal or greater reaction... So what was it? Was it truly just the pressure of the asylum? ...no pun intended...it's kind of there. Somewhere something inside you snapped. But what was it? 


I guess I'll just have to wait until we meet again.


Confusidly Yours,
NicholleLee.