Wednesday, August 26, 2009
Dear Marcus Flutie,
Marcus, can I just take the time to say I think you are magnificent. Wearing boyband t-shirts, stoping in your tracks to meditate, you're just fantastic. I admire your confidence, you're so sure of who you want to be by not knowing who you want to be. Does that make any sense? You do what you want and you truly do not care what anyone else in the world thinks. I admire that.
I was hanging on to you for so long and now that I it's over I can't let go of you. I thought I saw you 3 times yesterday!!! Which you know, is TOTALLY impossible. I pass people on the street and think of you, I hear people say things or I read a quote and I wish I could tell you because I know you would appreciate it. But, I can't and it's so hard for me to accept that we wont have our long days and nights together anymore. I don't want to repeat what has already happened, but knowing you're gone for good makes me want to repeat the past, go back to the beginning. But, I just feel like I can't do that. I don't know. I usually don't have a problem with that, but for some reason I can't with you. Maybe because it was too real. What I felt for you was too real, I don't know. And I feel like a goon saying that, but it might be true.
How can I explain to you my feelings for you??? When you bought Jessica that Barry Manillow toilet seat cover after two years....it was so thoughtful. I couldn't believe you remembered how much she wanted that. And the way you sent her all those post cards that after what three years finally said the message "I Wish Our Love Was Right Now"...genius! I guess it's just the way you think everything through that I find so attractive. I mean, God. You're incredible.
I wish our times would never end. I could spend every second of every day for the rest of my life with you and never get bored or sick of you. And I guess that's all I can say.