Dear Haven,

I too hold onto the past, so you shouldn't feel bad. It's a problem I have. I admit. But....I think you're kind of a brat. I'm just sayin'. I don't know. You just kind of disappointed me. It's not that I don't like you or anything, I just think you're a little dramatic and kind of a baby....yeah,....I said it. I mean, your parents are divorced...boo hoo, so are mine. You really liked your sisters ex-boyfriend, boo hoo, he's HER ex-boyfriend. Really....com'on. I don't know you just bother me, you're a brat, you whine a lot. You have it well off, you really do. So what if your dad is a little whack-o and your mom's a little eccentric. You OBVIOUSLY have not met my family. And, I'm not sittin' here complaining about my sisters ex-boyfriend, and my parents divorce, and the new husbands and wives. I mean....my mom is going on her third husband, and you don't see me all cold-hearted and hating the world. I'm just sayin'. Put a little positivity in your life. I know what it's like to be a really negative person, I used to be a really negative person. But, it just takes....a lot of work. It's better to just go with the flow and be happy. I mean, I'm not saying I'm always happy or anything, and I often do have bouts of negativity. But, you, you're just bad.
I'm sorry, I don't mean to rant and rave and tell you how annoying you are, I'm just a little annoyed. And, this was not my intent for this letter to turn out. But, I just let my fingers type what they type and don't really think about it. So, sorry, I guess this is just how I really feel.

Annoyably yours,
NicholleLee Robertson.

Dear Lloyd Dobler,

I love spending my evenings with you. Especially when I should be studying for my astronomy test. But hey, I had a really big presentation to give today on A Streetcar Named Desire and I've been working on it really hard and my professor said I "did awesome. And didn't even burst into flames! So, I thought it would be nice to end the night with you. And, I promised. And I've still been doing a really bad job of keeping up my end of the bargain. I really am sorry. But, having 18 credits means I have to sell my soul to Aquinas College and have many mental break downs throughout the way. I think you understand. But, maybe not. Anyways. I'm off to bed now, to get up early and make up for not studying for astronomy when I was with you.
I'm a bad student sometimes, but your company is company of that I can not pass up.

Your dear friend,
NicholleLee Robertson.

Dear Jake Semple,

You are the reason I started reading books. Just so you know. I read your story, and it's really the first time I read for enjoyment and actually enjoyed it. So, really, I just need to say THANK YOU!!! If it wasn't for you, I would not be the reader I am now.

Thank you.
Thank you.
Thank you.



Thankfully yours,
NicholleLee Robertson.

Dear Marucs Flutie,

I'M A TOTAL CREEEEEPER LIKE WOAH!
I saw you today. Well, not really you, but the you I see in my head. I saw him and my heart and stomach dropped to my feet, past my feet, and all the way to the core of the earth. I've never had that happen before... see an ordinary person and instantly know that's who a person is. Just a random picture. Of a random boy. Whom I've never met in my life and probably never will. It was just amazing.
I mean this is how I've always pictured you. In my head you've always looked like this boy. Always. He is you. You are him.
I can't figure out how... the picture in my head of you is actually a real person. And, you say, "well maybe you've seen his picture before and just meshed us together." Well, Marcus, to that I have to say, "NO!" I've never seen this person before in my ENTIRE life. But, now I feel I must meet him. Although, undoubtedly I'll be disappointed because he wont really be like you. But, you never know.
Oh god, now I really am a freak. You're not real and he's just a random person that has similar qualities to you. But...he's so you. He's so you! I can't stop thinking about it.
I need to meet him.
And talk to him.
And love him.
And marry him.
You probably think I'm being crazy, but, Marcus, you have no idea what I would do if you were real. Probably pass out at your amazingness.
But what if this boy is like you?
Do you think he is my soulmate?
Do you think we're meant to be together?
I mean how often is it that you see the love of your literary life in human form?!
I mean that's all I'm sayin'. That's all I'm sayin'!
Here he is. Here is you:

Readers: Do you know him? Have you seen him?
This is my Marcus Flutie. I'll give you a hug if you know him and introduce us.

Mr. My Marcus Flutie, will you marry me? Seriously.

I'm so......freaked out right now. It's so crazy.
So, Marcus, is this you? Is this what you really look like? I think so. I love you. I'm a total creeper. I know. Can you get in trouble for posting random peoples photos on line? I don't think so. Oh well. Also, I'm not a total total freak.

Truly, madly, deeply waiting for you,
NicholleLee Robertson.

Dear Twilight,

Why do I like you so much?! I want to re-read you. Again. And I really don't have time. And, I'm really sick of you and how popular you are, and I really don't want to. But, I feel like I have to. Arg. Why do you make me feel better? And why do I always have the innate urge to read you when I really really don't have the time??? Maybe because you're forbidden. Hehe. Har-de-har-har. ;-)



Angrily yours,
NicholleLee Robertson.

Dear Eli,

Thank you for letting her in. She needed you, and as much as you don't want to admit it, you needed her. Sometimes after a really terrible experience is the time when you meet the person you need most. And although you don't want them because you're afraid to get hurt and you just want to wallow and hate the world, you really do need them. And look, how was it you got over your friends death? Because of her. And, how did she cope with her "heartache" from her parents divorce, you. See, it's perfect. You found each other when you didn't want anybody, when you needed somebody. And that is the purest kind of romance ever. When you don't want someone, you hate yourself for wanting someone, yet you need them, you can't stop thinking about them, you love them. It really is perfect, do you see? I wish I could have the relationship you have with Auden with someone. Actually...I did have that relationship with someone, but we were both too scared. We both ran away, we couldn't do it. And there's not a day I don't think about it, or one of our adventures, or how happy I was with that person. And, it's gone now, I'll never get that love or that happiness back. But, you, you knew better. And maybe that's what makes it so pure for me and why I'm so jealous of you, because what I had of that was so perfect and you were just....smarter than me, you realized what you would lose. And although I knew what I was loosing, and I watched myself loose it, I didn't feel in control of that loss. And there is not really anything I would do now to gain that love or even that beginning friendship back. It was the best friendship I've ever had, the best and most unique love I've ever had. And when you find something like that, you just have to hold onto it as hard as you can, because you can wake up one day and it will have slipped through your fingers. So don't let what happened to me happen to you. Although, I don't think you will because you realize how important Auden is to you. You know she's the chance of a lifetime. And me? Maybe another place, another time, it would have worked. Maybe it still will. But, until then we'll never know. But, I'm so happy for you. And all I have to say is, YOU + AUDEN= EEEEEEK. That's all I'm sayin. So good luck, to you, to her, to the both of you. Hold on to her with all you've got.

Resentfully yet happily yours,
NicholleLee Robertson.

Dear Readers of my blog, (are you out there? Do you exist?)

This has nothing to do with books.

My best friend had a baby in March. He is six months old. And he's the stinkin' cutest baby EVER. I just had to get that out. EEEEEEEK. He's so cute! And I can't believe he's six months old already. I feel like I'm missing out on everything being at school. I don't get to see him, or play with him, or watch him grow. It's sad.


NicholleLee Robertson.


6 months. TEETH!


Elijah and Mommy(Tanya)

Me(Aunt Nikki) and Elijah. 2 days old.

6 months.

5 months.

Dear Harry Potter,

I feel like as a YA reader I should write to you. But I can't. I just never got into your story. And I should probably lock my doors and bult my windows, cuz all the Harry fans will be coming after me now. I guess, I just didn't like your story, I mean I liked it, but I just didn't get as into it as the others did. And, I'm sorry. Although, I don't think you would really care. Actually, I'm pretty sure you would be happy that I'm not totally into your story, you probably don't think you're worthy. Although, you are. I don't know, maybe, I'll try again.


Sorrily yours,
NicholleLee Robertson

Dear William Faulkner, .....again.....

I just wanted to apologize for the letter I sent to you the other day. We discussed "The Bear" in class today and I understand it much better now. And I like it. I don't love it, but I like it. I guess I'm one of the few who just liked it. I hear you either love it or you hate it. So...way to be unique. I just wanted to say I was sorry for being too quick to judge. Even though I read nearly half of the novella when I wrote you the first time. I'm sorry.

Sorry for judging too quickly,
NicholleLee Robertson.

Dear Jessica Darling,

Often times, I write to Marcus. I'm sorry, he's just such an amazing guy. But, I wanted to write to you today because I want your advice on something.
How did you do it? How did you go so long without talking to Marcus not knowing what was going on? Didn't it drive you insane. I just wonder because I think my boyfriend broke up with me after 4 years and plans to get married. And it's just driving me insane wondering what is going on. I mean I could call him, but that's not how we do things, is it?! How did you get by wondering what he was thinking and if he was thinking about you or if he really meant what he said (or didn't say)? How did you do it? Are you just a stronger person than me???? I don't think so. Not to be mean. I just meant...I don't know. Maybe it was just different with you two because you were apart so much more than you were together. Or maybe I'm over-complicating love. You would say "You can't over-complicate love." Marcus would say "Yes you can." I, too, often wish for a sign. Maybe one as obvious as Barry-oke. But, I don't think that day will come. Maybe a sign, but not one as obvious as Barry-oke, I don't think. How do you just get by? That's what I wonder. How do you make it NOT the only thing you are capable of thinking about? Because as much as I would love to stop everything I'm doing and just ponder about it, I can't. I've got class in an hour and a half and homework and work and just about everything else in the world one could possibly have to do. Of course, he would love for this to just stop me in my tracks and make me loose all my bearings. But, the truth is, I don't have time for that. So, while he's at home thinking I'm all shaken up, I really don't have time to be. So, take that! So, how do I just get by? How do I just get by?

Looking to hear from you,
NicholleLee Robertson.

Dear William Faulkner,

I don't usually write to real people, so you should feel honored. Even though what I have to say to you is not very nice.
I hate your book "The Bear". It's really confusing. Why do you have to have sentences that are like a page long?! It's like reading through cement. I am half way through and have no idea what is going on. It's insane. Maybe, I'll finish it and learn about it in class and I'll change my idea and think it's totally amazing, but I don't think so. I just thought you should know. I don't like your book. I think it's confusing. And difficult. And takes way too much time to read. I mean are you writing about bears? Or dogs? Or both? Or are they people and you're just calling them bears and dogs? I honestly have NO IDEA. And, I'm supposed to be an English major....I'm supposed to get these things....

Confusidly yours,
NicholleLee Robertson.

Dear Lloyd Dobler,

I know it's been a while since we've met and I've kind of been cheating on you, but I just want you to know how much you really do mean to me. I know I'm too busy to hang out as often, and I'm spending a lot of time with other boys, but you were the first boy I loved. And I will never forget that. And, I still do love you, really I do. I've just been really busy. You can even ask all my friends, I talk about you all the time. You're on my mind a lot. Lets get together soon?! Maybe this weekend, let me make it up to you. You're just a fantastic person and I hate not seeing you. Even though it's my own fault. We could spend time together whenever I want, I just take advantage of you being so close. Do you know what I mean? I think, it's I know we have such a good relationship and no one will ever get in the way of it. So, I am more apt to ditch you for people who I know will be offended if I don't spend time with them. And I know you'll understand because you're so understanding and you're a great person. And I just value your friendship so much. And I should really tell you that more often. I'm sorry. I'm a bad friend. But you, you're a great person Lloyd. I'll see you soon.

Apologetically yours,
NicholleLee Robertson

Dear Justin Matisee,

I just thought you should know I was rooting for you the entire time. I don't know why Birdie didn't like you....I thought you were incredibly charming from the moment I saw you! I'm proud of you for not giving up on her. You have to realize she was going through a lot, and you're not giving up on her, I think, was a helping factor in her getting over her loser husband. What was his name again? I don't remember. I suppose it's not worth remembering. Especially since he didn't want his daughter. What a scumbag! But you, you were just what she needed. Her and Berniece. And Travis. The way you take care of all three of them just shows so much about your character.
Visiting with you so much when I was a young girl really helped me. I just want to say thank you for that. Our visits made me able to sleep and gave me a sort of piece of mind. You're the only reason I could fall asleep a lot of the time, because of the way you talked and just reinforce that everything with be alright. It was soothing. I am forever grateful for that. And I know we stoped visiting for a long while, but I hope you can forgive me. It was not intentional. I still thought about you often. I just thought you should know how much you mean to me.

Indebtidly yours,
NicholleLee Robertson.

Dear Wes,

From the moment I heard about you, I was just so interested. Something about you just drew me in, and I can't really explain it. But, it's just like, you fit everything I've ever wanted in a person. You were so mysterious but so easy to figure out at the same time. You're such a balance of the human being. Which is hard to do, I think. You have this presence, even when you're not around. You're hard not to remember, it's hard not to think about you. And, even though I feel like you're unattainable for me, you seem so reachable. Does that make any sense? I don't know. Usually I would never even attempt to be friends with a person like you; smart, handsome, muscles, artistic... so intimidating. You seem like you've got it all figured out. But, with you, it's not like that. I never thought for one second that we could not be close friends. I never thought about you as an intimidating person. And maybe that's just because of your character, I got to know the real you before I even decided to be your friend. So, I didn't really have time to think of you as an intimidating person. It's just like all this sudden here you were in my life. One second you were not there and the next second you were this huge part of my life. I don't know, just a theory. But, I'm glad you came into my life. And I'm glad you came when you did. You were just the person I wanted to talk to. I'm still waiting for my sculpture, by the way. Just so you know.

Unintimidatidly yours,
NicholleLee Robertson.

Dear Simon,

Even though you're crazy, you stole a child, and you're totally obsessed, I can't be mad at you. And it's crazy. I mean, you STOLE a child. But, I think it's you're undying love that saves you. To love someone so much it hurts.....to love someone so much you loose your whole life over it....to love someone so much you steal their child(?).... I don't understand that last part, but....
I mean, you really love(d) this girl. And I don't want to say loveD because you still do, but I just can't believe the pain inside you because of a lady. I guess I have never had the pleasure of loving someone so, incredibly much that you would do absolutely anything (not even short of stealing their child) to just get their attention. And someone who once loved you and told you they did not anymore. It's insane. It's just....I can't even fathom loving someone so much. And I feel bad for you, and I feel sorry that she doesn't love you anymore. I wish you could still have her, because I really feel like you're a good good person. I feel like you're just so stuck on this women. And that's bringing out the worst in you, the pain in you.
And to be completely honest I don't understand what is so spectacular about her.... obviously you do. And, I think that's what's so interesting about you. You love this plainly ordinary girl, but you love her so much.
I just wish I could love someone like that. Or to be loved like that, even for a split second. God, I can't even imagine. I mean I love my boyfriend, but to loose everything because he didn't want to be with me...to steal a child of his (if he were to have one), to need therapy to get over him after years of being separated, to not be able to get out of bed or go to work or have the energy to even grocery shop... I can't imagine that ever happening. And maybe that means you're a better person, a better lover than I. Or maybe it just means....I don't know. But, I could never imagine one person having that affect on another.
And maybe that's why I admire you so much. Because you're willing to love someone that much, because you weren't afraid to take that chance on someone. You were not afraid to get hurt, and you did. You totally did. So much. And it's crazy how much you got hurt. But, I think you'll become a better man out of loving her. I think you'll become a better human being for loving her. And I truly believe she came into your life for a reason and there is some reason for you to have to go through all this pain. Because if you think about it, going through that pain, having all those emotions, they have to have happened for a reason. They have to have some effect on you in the long run when you're over her. Or will you never be over her? I don't know. But, that takes some commitment to love someone so much for so long. So, I guess kudos for that.
But, really. You should not steal peoples children. They take that pretty seriously now a'days. Just in case you didn't know. Piece of advice. ;-) But, seriously. Don't do that.

Impressidly yours,
NicholleLee Robertson.

Dear Noah,

I think that any girl would be lucky to have you. You're handsome, and sweet, and thoughtful, and perfect. Really, you are. And you waited so long to be with Allie and just knew that she was still waiting for you. And all that waiting paid off for you! And your story was just so incredible, it touched my heart so much. To hear that two people could be so meant to be together...it was just astounding! And the way you wrote to her everyday and never heard back but never gave up. And don't even get me started on the house. But she comes to see you and it all works out and you live a happy life together. And really, that's all that matters. I could read your story over and over and over again. The two of you are just so right and it's so inspiring to read about your dedication and your love for her. I don't really know what else to say, and I feel like I'm being really redundant, but I don't really know what else to say besides I'm just so impressed with you. And your character, waiting that long for a lady shows a lot about your character.

Admirably yours,
NicholleLee Robertson.

Dear Marcus Flutie,

I know I just wrote to you, but I feel like there is something else I need to tell you. But I just can't quiet figure out what it is yet. I just want to see you and hear your voice and be near you. And I can't be and it's killing me. I love you so much and I think you're so incredible. I'm sorry I don't have the words to describe what I think of you, I wish I could say more. I miss you. I miss you a lot. I wish we got together more often. I would spend every day with you if I could. Honestly. I would, I really would. Your just such an amazing person and I can't grasp how amazing you are, even after all these months. You're just....incredible. Like I said, I just can not truly express how I feel about you, and I feel so bad about that. I love you. I wish you were here.

Missing you,
NicholleLee Robertson.

Dear Dexter,

That day when you waited outside her soon-to-be step dad's office just so you could talk to Remy, that took balls. Do you remember that? Of course you do, it changed your life. It's always the little things that change your life. I just wanted to say, good for you. I'm glad you pushed her so much, and I'm glad you never gave up on her. She needed someone like you to come into her life and show her how fantastic things could really be. That she doesn't need to push away from everyone and everything, that it's OK to hold on to something. She needed someone to break down her walls and you were the perfect person to do it. Your patience, and kindness, and just little kid goofiness, I think, is just what the doctor ordered for her. And look now, you're still together and it's been years. There's always that one person you know you should be with and for you it was Remy, but for Remy, she didn't really know. Well, I think, now she knows. Obviously. But, if you wouldn't have wiggled your way into her life, you guys may have never gotten together, and you both would have missed the chance of a lifetime. You both would have missed out on the one person you're meant to be with. So, really even if you don't realize it (which I'm sure you do)that day when you waited for her changed your life forever. How does that feel? Does it scare you to think, "what if I didn't wait, or pry, or annoy her?" Does it. I just wonder. I wish I could talk to you know and hear how things are going between you two.... How's the band? Still playing the Potato Song? I sure did love that song. I really enjoyed the summer we spent together, and I really enjoyed watching your and Remy's relationship come to life. It was an honor to be a part of that. So, thank you. Have a good life. Hopefully with Remy.

Thankfully yours,
NicholleLee Robertson.

Dear Landon Carter,

I knew you were a softie. I could just tell. It always takes that one girl to soften a BA up, and I knew you were one of those guys. The guy that just needs the right girl to put him in his place.
That being said, I'm so glad you were one of those guys! It makes your love that much more...pure. It makes it that much more special. Knowing that here's this tough guy who doesn't take anyones crap and his weakness, the one thing that makes him nice, and caring, and change is a lady. And with you it was not just any lady. It was the school dork. Everyone made fun of her, YOU made fun of her, but you also fell in love with her. That really does show a lot about your character. The fact that you're willing to openly admit you made a mistake, you shouldn't have acted the way you did, that takes a lot. And that's something only a real man can do. Ya know, my uncle once said "A real man has tools," well a real man can also admit his mistakes. Yeah, it may have took you a while, but it took her a while too to admit she loved you, to admit she couldn't be scared to be with you.
And I know her dying was really sad and everything, but I think that made you more of a man, too. The fact that you sit and read to her father long after she's gone....man. That was something else. Good for you. I knew you were a good guy, I could just tell. You're all the same...Like I said, just need that one lady friend to make all the difference in the world. And I'm so happy you let love in. Hehehe, get it, let love in. Isn't that from a song? I'm so happy you let her into your life, because that did more than you could have ever imagined, for both of you. She had a chance to love and be loved before she died, and you, you had the chance to change and to grow and to love someone unconditionally. And I think when someones heart breaks it grows back bigger the next time around, so your heart grew, too! Which can't be a bad thing! So, go you! I really admire all the strength you have. I bet you don't even realize it as strength, but it is. So, I guess, keep on keepin' on.

Admirably yours,
NicholleLee Robertson

Dear Adela,

I just want to say: Don't marry Ronny. Just don't do it. You don't love him, your ideal of India is too romantic and not real, and plus I think you should be with Dr. Aziz. He's a better man than Ronny. You and Ronny....you just don't fit. You don't. And I KNOW you know that. You even said you weren't in love with him, and it does matter. It does, I think you should love someone when you marry them.... Ronny doesn't really understand you, I don't think. And I don't think he's the kind of person you really want to end up with....SO just think about it. Really really think about it. You're not stuck with him. Not yet at least. It's your life, love it and love the people in it. Don't marry someone you're not in love with, you deserve better than that. Plus, I think in the end you'll end up in love with Dr. Aziz. And he needs a lady, the poor fellow. He's still holding onto his dead wife, which is sweet, but he needs to move on. And I think you might just be the lady that will let him.

Convincingly yours,
NicholleLee Robertson.

Dear Oliver,

You are perfect. Don't ever change. I can't get over how perfect you are. I can't hear your voice or see you without smiling a ton. Don't ever change, you're perfect the way you are. Absolutely perfect. I wish someone loved me the way you love Emily. It's fantastic. Your love is so...I can't even describe. You've only hung out like 5 times total, you never see each other, you never talk, but somehow you're still best friends and still perfect for each other. It's incredible. You're incredible. And I LOVE IT when you sing and play guitar. You're terrible, but you're simply perfect.

In awe of you,
NicholleLee Robertson.

Dear Jacob Black,

I like Edward better. I'm sorry. Although I really like the relationship you have with Bella, it's just better with Edward. Maybe it's because I'm dating my best friend, so her relationship with Edward is different and something I relate to less. I do appreciate you and your relationship with Bella, though. I do feel for you, that really does suck. Loving someone who just wont ever love you the way you want. I'm sorry.

Feeling for you,
NicholleLee.

Dear John and Jane,

You are meant for each other. I felt so honored to read your letters to one another. It was just perfect. All that lead up to what I believe to be a good thing. It's a good thing you didn't hook up in the closet at that wedding, because I think what you have now, after sharing all those intense stories you'll be better for one another. You're relationship is more, heck, it may not have even started if you would have hooked up. And like I said, I think you're meant for one another. So happy loving each other!!

Yours,

NicholleLee.

Dear Owen,

I know we meet a lot, about every month or so. But, I wish we could meet more often. I know you'll disagree, but you've got everything all figured out. You have a lot to teach me. About your anger, the way people can't seem to lie around you. You just hold this place in my heart and I wish I could talk to you and get your honest opinion. Because I never know if I'm getting an honest opinion or if someone is just trying to be nice. But, I don't have to do that with you. One less thing to worry about. And let me tell you, there's enough to worry about!I admire the way you stick it the man, and do your own thing, and totally don't care about other peoples opinions, but at the same time are the most respectful person I know.

I wish we could meet more often. Because, I often get the urge to see you and talk to you and just be with you and it doesn't work out as much as I'd like it to. Maybe in time when we're not so busy. But who knows when that'll be. Your boldness. Your honesty. Your confidence. You inspire me. You're a good person. And there are not many of those people in the world today. But you are an honest to goodness good person.

Respectfully yours,

NicholleLee Robertson.

Dear Marley,

You're such a cute dog and I love you so much. But, you really shouldn't chomp on peoples necklaces. I remember one time my dog actually literally ate my homework and my mom wrote a note to the teacher and I still got in trouble. You should keep your chomping urges to doggie toys, it would make life much easier. And not just you, that's a rule all dogs should follow. Oh! And good job for stickin' it to your obedience trainer, she was kind of a wench.